Mary Kay Glazer
March 17, 2026
One of my favorite stories about discernment involves a talking donkey, an invisible angel and a prophet who wants to make some money by cursing the Israelites. This story is found in the book of Numbers in the Torah. The kaleidoscope of meaning in this story includes lessons about discernment.
Here’s the gist of the story. King Balak of Moab will give Balaam, a prophet, a hefty reward if he will curse the Israelites so they might be driven out of the neighborhood. Balaam wants that reward, so he tries to get God to let him deliver the curse. God is having none of it, no matter how much Balaam pushes it. Balaam keeps trying to curse the Israelites without success, igniting the ire of the king. In what becomes Balaam’s final effort, he is riding his donkey to deliver the curse. The donkey sees an angel blocking the path and moves aside, three times, even though Balaam does all he can to force his donkey forward. Balaam, not able to see the angel, becomes enraged, beating his donkey each time. The donkey then speaks, asking Balaam what she has done to deserve these beatings. Balaam yells at the donkey, blaming her for making a fool of him. Then, Balaam’s eyes are opened and he sees the angel. He bows to the ground and acknowledges his fault in the matter. He then realizes he can only deliver a blessing, which he finally does.
Among the discernment lessons in this story:
- While humans have free will, God can be quite persistent with us.
- In discernment, not everything is seen or known. We may not see or understand the obstacles or the openings.
- We may not be aware of what is at stake.
- We may not see how our blind spots obscure the path we may be called to take.
- We may blame others for our frustration or failure, causing harm.
- Discernment guidance may come from unexpected places.
When people think about discernment, it is usually in the context of decision-making. And it’s true, discernment is an integral part of making decisions that are aligned with one’s faith and values. To limit discernment to decision-making, though, is to make discernment too small. Discernment becomes much more expansive and foundational when it is seen in the context of life-alignment. Alignment with your faith, your deepest wisdom, the God of your understanding and experience, your community and the common good, love, and all of Creation.
Let’s look at some of the ways that discernment is defined and understood. Dictionary definitions focus on good judgment, perception, and understanding. The Merriam-Webster online dictionary says that discernment is “the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure” (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/discernment). The Online Etymology Dictionary refers to a root that means to sift and winnow (https://www.etymonline.com). Sifting, to go through and see what is useful, what is needed. Winnowing, which can be a synonym for sift, has the added sense of using a current of air to get rid of the waste, the things that aren’t wanted or needed. In a faith or ministerial context, that could mean putting a decision, or one’s self, or a situation, in the flow of Spirit, with the breath of Spirit blowing away what is unneeded. And adding oxygen to provide fuel for what is needed.
These resources illuminate the idea that discernment includes far more than decision-making. Discernment as a spiritual practice and orientation opens space for people to be in touch with their core selves and deepest wisdom; their bodies; their community, cultures, and values; and with the God of their understanding and experience. The practice of discernment is especially important for ministers as they seek to live into the ministry they called to. Discernment most certainly helps with good decision-making, knowing when to say yes, when to say no, when to say maybe or not yet. Beyond that, discernment can help with knowing where the impulses are coming from (deepest wisdom, Divine Source, selfishness, old messages from the past that may or may not be helpful, etc.). Discerning spirits, as it is sometimes called, can help to know how best to respond when making decisions and in choosing how to act in any given situation.
More importantly, a life-posture of discernment helps ministers to increasingly live in alignment with their core values and beliefs. As such, good discernment brings people into greater alignment with Love, the Universal Christ, all that is Good, their deepest, truest Self. Discernment is not about making the ‘right’ decision. It is about deepening in relationship. And that happens whether or not a decision is part of discernment. Rose Mary Dougherty writes:
“The habit of discernment is an attitude of listening to God in all of life.”
“(It) fine-tunes the ear of the heart so that we hear more clearly the invitations to love intrinsic to every moment of life. In the habit of discernment, our choices are again and again refined by the invitations to love. Gradually we come to know what is consonant with love, what we need to do or need not to do and, with grace, we are free to respond.”
Rose Mary Dougherty
Discernment: A Path to Spiritual Awakening
p. 20-21
Discernment is about how we align our lives, our minds, our hearts, our spirits more with God, with Love and with our deepest wisdom and our best selves, and with our community and the common good. It is about finding the places of alignment with Love and seeking to increase those alignments. It is about integrity and about staying true to one’s relationship with God, with self, with community, with Creation.
For those in a defined ministry, a posture of discernment includes listening, trusting, and testing. This helps ministers stay grounded in their faith and aligned with their core values, beliefs, and relationships as they consider how they are called and what is theirs to do. Discernment integrated into their lives can help ministers avoid burn-out. It can also help ministers see what is in their blind spots and tend to what is hidden in their shadow self. This inner work can support healthy ministry and healthy relationships.
Turning toward discernment
A life integrated with discernment is supported by practices that increase capacity for discernment. Contemplative practices like centering prayer, meditation, and walking the labyrinth can help with increasing awareness of and connection with your inner wisdom and Spirit / Divine Presence. Creative practices such as painting, writing, dancing, singing, doodling can also open channels of discernment. A daily prayer of examen, an Ignatian prayer practice, helps you tune into when you see and experience Diving Presence throughout the day. Discernment is aided by any practice that creates more spaciousness and helps clear out the things that aren’t helpful. In addition, any practice that keeps you connected to your core self, your community, Spirit, and Creation supports an orientation of discernment. Some other such practices include:
- Physical activity / exercise
- Journaling
- Participation in community
- Retreats
- Spiritual friendship – having someone who will help you see blind spots
- Spiritual direction
- Being in nature
- Noticing and engaging with your emotions
- Laughter and fun
- Somatic exploration (body awareness)
- Accountability group / partner
It can also be helpful to pray with or reflect on queries such as:
- Why am I doing what I’m doing?
- How am I showing up?
- What am I doing to minimize the chances that I am contributing to the harm?
- How do I know what I know?
- How do I see what is in my blind spots?
Discernment can help ground you and guide you in staying true to your calling and intention no matter where you find yourself. Discernment helps you keep in touch with your moral compass. And when you veer from your compass, discernment can be part of your alert system and help return you to alignment.